2024-05-30 | 11:01:11 PM
It’s been a long day. The past few days I’ve only tried to survive. It’s hard to keep up with all the stuff that’s been happening around me — school, work, responsibilities, and whatnot. If I had the chance to slow down and quit, I’ll immediately grab it. But in an environment like this where so much stuff goes on, I don’t think it’s even possible to consider the idea of slowing down. Minimalism and essentialism have their benefits, but when too many things are in need of my attention, there’s only so much cutting down ‘unnecessary’ stuff could do — and that’s because the reality is that naturally a lotta stuff need my attention.
I can’t even code anymore, I can’t read, and I can’t do the stuff that I pledged to do every day. Perhaps the problem really is that I’m not dedicating enough time to do those things, but the issue really is that I can’t get a moment of silence for myself and just… breathe.
Much of the adult life is all about considering responsibilities, deliberating decisions, doing this, doing that, and never so much about sitting on the couch by the fire, reading a book while some cool jazz music fills the silence. If I had the chance to quit working, I would.
If I had the chance to stay at home and just think about the stuff that I usually shrug off these days (i.e. - the heavy and emotional stuff), I would. But I can’t get such a chance easily. Hopefully one of these days I do. I’m even writing this now as I’d just finished my work for the day. It’s exhausting, to say the least.